Saturday, January 9, 2016

LENNY THE BOOK CROOK, PART 4.

Part 4.

Shortly after Lenny and my phone call, I received the following e-mail containing the contract: (I use the term “contract” very loosely here.)

“Hi Raanan,
“The agreement is in the body of the e-mail. This book sounds so different, I feel good about it, when I read it, I will also give you notes, before I take it out.
“Raanan, I have given you a break on expenses, I’m going to give YOU a life changing chance.
“We will meet possibly tomorrow, or Monday. Bring the executed agreement, the hard printed version of your book, and the tow-hundred dollar Cashier’s Check for expenses… Meet me at Starbucks, like we discussed… figure around 11:00 AM. This could be a break through book (no one knows) but it’s very unique… I know I’m dying to read it.
“Kindest Regards,
“Lenny L.”

Firstly, we didn’t discuss or agree upon two hundred dollars. Secondly, he included directions to a completely different Starbucks in Culver City. I excluded his driving directions from your eyes, only because it holds no consequential part to the story. Then he signed off, but not before including the “agreement” or “contract” with me:

“Literary Management Agreement:

“1. By this agreement, Raanan Lewis (Author) appoints Lenny Leopold (L.L.) as his EXCLUSIVE literary representative. L.L. agrees to use good faith efforts to place Author’script/manuscript (Work and hereafter “Work”), with a Studio, Publisher DVD, Production Company, Television Network, Internet (Publisher) etc acceptable to the Author and to exploit and turn to account such other subsidiary and television and film rights in and to the Works as may be appropriate under the circumstances. We may use and/or employ subagents and corresponding agents for such purposes. L.L. shall make an agreement on the behalf of the Author without the Author’s written approval.

“2. In return for services rendered L.L. in connection with the work, Author agrees to pay Lenny Leopold $500.00 in US Funds by Cashiers Check of which (Two Hundred Dollards) of (for expenses on execution of this agreement & irrevocably authorizes L.L. to receive in its name, all monies due t to become due to Author and to retain as its commission fifteen percent (15%) of all gross monies payable to Raanan Lewis.

“3. THIS PARAGRAPH IS DELETED

“4. In addition to the aforementioned expenses, L.L. shall be reimbursed for any additional expenses incurred on behalf of the work (not to exceed a total of $100 without written permission), including photocopying, messengers, cables, and overseas postage in connection with submissions for sales, both foreign and domestic, long distance telephone calls, copies of the published script when purchased by the L.L. for subsidiary rights submissions, and other similar and related charges. L.L. shall invoice author quarterly for such expenses or deduct same from funds received by L.L. for author’s Account.

“5. By signing this agreement, your duly state you own the script SPECIES

“6. All funds received by L.L. on behalf the author shall be held in Trust by L.L. and L.L. shall exercise a fiduciary duty with regard to those funds and on behalf of the author.   

“7. The Author shall have the right to an annual audit of the financial books and records of L.L. with regard to the Author’s account and L.L. shall produce all records relevant to the Audit. L.L. shall give the accountant conducting the audit access to all financial books and records relevant to the Account. The Audit shall take place at the principal place of business of L.L. unless the parties agree to a different location.

“8. Any written notice for this Agreement must be sent by registered U.S. mail, return receipt requestd, or by FedEx, DHL, or UPS overnight courier to the addresses set forth in this this Agreement.

“9. This Agreement represents the complete understanding between the Author and L.L. and supersedes any prior oral understandings and may not be amended except in a writing siugned by the Author and L.L.

“10. This Agreement shall be construed under the laws of the State of California., and be in force for one year from date of execution of agreement=

“11. This Agreement is effective on the date of the final signature. Please make out cashiers check in U.S. funds to Lenny Leopold.”

Reading this agreement, a few things became very clear to me. Firstly, his grammar was atrocious. All of the “typos” and grammatical mishaps included above were actually part of the official agreement sent to me. Like an episode of any crime show will tell you, “The names have been changed to protect the innocent”. That’s only half-true, as the names that were changed were only done for libel reasons. Lenny Leopold is about as innocent as Charles Manson. At least Mr. Manson was brilliant to match his horrific insanity. Lenny Leopold was a moron – plain and simple. I made sure to copy his agreement verbatim with all mistakes kept included. So, his issues with grammar aside, here was a downloaded agreement obviously plagiarized from someone else’s file. Did he not catch the reference to the film ‘Species’?! I’m pretty sure that my book has NEVER been title ‘Species’ or anything like that…

Lenny’s agreement also had a number of financial arrangements set up throughout this shit-mess of a document. I kept re-reading, trying to find the part where I sign over ownership of my soul along with that of any children’s down the line. This “contract” – if you can call it that – had more inaccuracies and new agreements than anything discussed. He was clearly trying to get one over on me. I may have been wet behind the ears when it came to contracts (Hell, I may still be naïve to such things), but this shit show would only take a dummy to fall for such things. You can flatter me all day, but if you shit in my lap, I don’t want much more to do with you. Unfortunately, this is just how it works, at least in my world. The money he had originally requested had been amended so many times between our phone call, his e-mail, and the end result of the agreement. Somehow the “five hundred dollar fee” never truly wavered. Lenny’s crazy talk was what seemed to shift. Reading this agreement over and over again, I couldn’t help but think this was a joke. Had a group of friends gotten together to organize this as some sort of prank? This agreement seemed like the best way to sign away my life to an idiot. None of this seemed favorable to me.


You’d think this would be the end, but you would be wrong. Lenny wasn’t going to disappear this quickly. He was looking for a new victim and it seemed that was me, the alleged writer of the film ‘Species’ (according to the shit-ass contract). As I began to do some research on Lenny – something I should have done far earlier in the process – the plot only began to thicken.

No comments:

Post a Comment