Part 6.
Following this e-mail, Lenny then called me. Not an hour had
passed since I received the e-mail, and luckily I had read it, but he was
coming on a bit too strong. Firstly, as per his agreement, this e-mail was not
without a plethora of mistakes and inconsistencies. Also, it looked like a
school child had penned it. I was still being told who I could and couldn’t
speak with, while he was trying to sell me on the “Lenny Experience”. Needless
to say, I wasn’t sold. I had grown disinterested in sharing any more time
discussing my work with this crack pot. Clearly he didn’t know what he was
doing. As a literary agent, I would assume basic grammar would be in one’s
wheelhouse. This was not the case with Lenny. If he saw so much potential in my
work, five hundred dollars or one-fifty wouldn’t make the difference. Assuming
he was such a big deal and saw the potential, he would invest his own measly
pennies after securing me into a properly written agreement.
As I answered the phone,
Lenny started off on a tirade against my friends, yet again. “Do not speak with
anyone, but me.” This was his governing instruction. He wasn’t wavering. On top
of that, he continued to try selling himself to me, still reminding me of the
financial responsibilities of so. I politely declined working together further.
“You’re great Lenny, but I just can’t commit to something like this right now.
Thank you for the time. I wish you the best.” After hearing my admission, the
phone went silent. Lenny had hung up on me. I remember thinking, “Let it be.
Good riddance.” And with that, I moved on from the topic.
An hour later, I received yet
another call from this George Costanza crackpot. Was he just sitting by the
phone with nothing to do? If there was so much out there for him to do and be a
part of, what was he concerned with me? Ridiculous.
Answering his call, Lenny went on
yet another tirade, this time claiming I had offended him. Why the fuck are you
calling me back, then? Why not just wait for my apology? He continued to badger
me about my friends, acting a fool. This transitioned into his personal attacks
on my abilities to make a decision. “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing.
You need someone like ME to guide you.” The conversation went nowhere and I
found myself pandering to a child. I had to promise to mull it all over in order
to get him off the phone. Hanging up, I couldn’t help but release a sigh. Ten
minutes later, Lenny called me again. I ignored the phone and it rang a few
more times that evening from him. The following morning, I woke up well rested
having had a chance to mull this all over. Don’t get me wrong, I knew this was
not something I wanted to sign onto, but I couldn’t help but fear this man may
never get the hint. I penned the following letter back to Lenny:
“Hey Lenny,
“I appreciate your time and I am touched by the interest. As far
as my friends, they are all people I know and respect, who have proven to me
their time and dedication. Given that track record, I’d prefer if you respect
that and possibly respect the fact that I’m not without an independent though.
I would want to feel sure of this if I were to ever consider signing with an
agent.
“If you and I were to have proceeded forward, resulting in you
sending my book out to publishers, I wouldn’t ever be consider pulling out. As
of this moment, we’ve committed nothing to each other.
“As far as money is concerned, I’m going to be completely honest
with you, because that is my nature. I had a very rough year for a number of
reasons between medical, personal, and work related issues. I’m broke. I don’t
have a penny to my name and I’ve had to be resourceful with my bills and what
little money I have. I have a broken headlight, have been driving without car
insurance, currently have no health insurance, and I’m often worried about
having enough to eat. I’m in a slightly desperate situation, but I’ve been in a
bad place before. I’m not going to commit to you at this time, especially not
before I’ve taken outside meetings to discuss my publishing potential.
“I am one of the most loyal people you will ever meet. I’m loyal
to a fault. This often get me into trouble. Had you offered to represent me
without having brought up the $500.00 fee, I would have already been signed.
“I appreciate your deep interest in this project, but some of your
emails and phone calls are coming across somewhat angry and aggressive.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day and either will be my writing career.
“I thank you for the time and wish you lots of success in the
future.
“Kind Regards,
“Raanan Lewis.”
Within less than an hour, I received a response. Sending him that
letter, I was hoping to appeal to a level of human understanding. Either he
would offer me the moon at no price-point (which was obviously impossible) or
he would back off. Clearly I was in the wrong just for engaging with such a
creature. This short e-mail message Lenny sent back to me was laughable.
Clearly I was playing with an open wound.
“Raanan,
“I told you to forget about the $500,00. It’s 150.00 for you. I’m
on BORAD…..I think you may have something, we will make a good team.”
Clearly I was talking to
crazy and rarely is there any sense of rationality there. Lenny was not
receiving the message of my e-mail and somehow thought ‘BORAD’ was the way to
spell ‘board’. That’s what I’m assuming. And his contract agreement stated
$500.00, not $150 or $500,00. I just ignored the e-mail. Lenny called me a few
more times over the following few weeks, but I declined the calls. I didn’t
receive an e-mail after that, assuming I was in the clear.
About a month and a half
later, out of the blue, Lenny reached out to me. He sent me the following
e-mail without any warrant:
“Raanan. Call me. I gave you a break at $150.00. it’s just for
expenses. You see my credits, just the books I sold. Cheers, Lenny.”
There wasn’t even
a paragraph break for pleasantries. I didn’t understand why I was hearing from
him now, but chose to ignore this e-mail as well. An entire span of six months
passed before I heard from Lenny once again. Out of nowhere, I received another
e-mail of the same short nature as the one above. Clearly this guy needed
one-hundred and fifty bucks far more than I did. Still, I had no reason to
respond. The following day, I received another similar e-mail. At this point,
things were changing for me and I began seeing real potential for a book deal.
No comments:
Post a Comment